Over the years I’ve found that there are questions that are like bullets. They shoot straight into the core.
Questions that help people to see themselves or others to their core in a new and profound way.
One of these questions is:
Please fill in:
Mum / Dad, I wish you could _________…
This question is helpful at any age, young or old. As a matter of fact, I find that people I see in their seventies tend to change the quickest.
It’s as if I’m asking: if you could ask the “Parents-Fairy” for a wish what would it be?
My real question is: what are you lacking right now? But I find it shoots straight into the core when I ask people to please fill in:
Mum / Dad, I wish you could _________…
I feel that the outcome of any successful therapeutic process (or any successful growth process) is maturing into parenting yourself in the way you needed your parents to parent you. Your parents were lacking something themselves, in a way that made them unable to give you something basic and important that you needed.
Whatever the answer to this question is, I take the answer and bring it back to you as a gift to give yourself.
For example, often people say: “Mum, I wish you’d stop criticizing me about my parenting”.
I then ask them: what would you wish she do instead?
“Mum, I wish you’d tell me that I’m doing a good job parenting my children.”
I then tell them:
Tell yourself: “[Your name], please stop criticizing me for the way I parent.
[Your name], please tell me I’m doing a good job parenting my children.”
“Mum, please stop caring about what others think. Please pay attention to me and to what I truly need.”
“[Your name], please stop caring about what others think. Please pay attention to yourself and to what you truly need, Yael.”
“Dad, please work less and spend more time with me.”
“[Your name] please work less and spend more time with yourself.”
“Mum, please tell me the truth.”
“[Your name], please tell yourself the truth / please know your truth/ please trust your truth.”
I’ve given here only a few examples. The list is endless.
How do you know you’re in the right spot?
When you feel touched.
When you feel touched by saying back to yourself what you needed from your parents, you know you’re there.
This can be your homework now: to parent yourself in that healthiest way that you needed which your parents couldn’t give you back then.
If you’ve found your own questions that help you SEE, you know how exciting and helpful this is. Please share them with me too.
I look forward to The Art of Seeing training, to share and to inspire you to taste the effects of words and other communications in a way that helps you SEE.
I am creating this training because I am a trainer and LOVE teaching. I call it being an edutainer. I love it when people come and have profound experiences, have fun, and learn so much. This kind of learning and teaching isn’t just fun and effortless, it also sinks deep inside, into different levels of our being. With this kind of learning, you don’t have to memorise a thing, or think and plan. Instead, you will find yourself in a state of flow in life and when you work with people. In this state of flow everything that you’ve learned by experience and having fun just comes and does the job through you.
Of course, a nice ‘side effect’ of such training is the healing we often get by looking into our own issues and being SEEN during the exercises and the questions we ask in the training.
I warmly welcome you to the training and look forward to going through these special experiences together.
