Do you know what empathy is?
Empathy is our natural ability to know and feel what other people are feeling.
It is one of the most important skills for healthy relationships.
When I talk about empathy, I DON’T mean sympathy and I DON’T mean being an empath. In sympathy you feel some kind of care for the other person. “Empath” is usually used to describe someone who not only knows what other people are feeling, but also tries to “fix” it for them.
When I talk about empathy, I refer to our natural ability to know what someone else is feeling, without doing anything about it. Just knowing deeply how they feel, in a way that we feel it for a moment. That is how we most deeply understand the other person. Deeply understanding the other person enables deep connection, good communication and a flow in the relationship. Any kind of relationship will come to a flow naturally with empathy. there is not much that needs to be done other than that, because once you have empathy to know what the other person truly feels, you cannot not understand them and then you cannot not unblock anything that was in the way of the relationship being healthy.
I tell men: “Tell her ‘I UNDERSTAND’”, and take a moment before you say that, and truly understand what she feels. Don’t be stuck in being right.
Being right, even when we are totally right, always blocks empathy and leaves us lonely and isolated. Empathy, understanding how she FEELS, has nothing to do with thoughts or with being right or wrong. It is JUST understanding / knowing how she FEELS. When you do that – all will unfold in the best ways.
An interesting thing is, that we can do empathy even without being near the other person and without seeing them, and even without knowing them or having met them. Yes. We all can. It’s a natural ability, that we are not taught at school or nearly anywhere in modern society. We are not taught that we simply have this ability and how to hone our empathy skill.
And that is what we do in our Family Constellations workshops. In these workshops I offer a place for people to come and practice empathy for two hours, FREE of charge. People who participate as resonators learn so much about how to use this natural ability for empathy and learn so much about relationships and about themselves.
I recommend this to many people I see, and most of all to the men I see that come to see me in order to better their relationships in their life; couple, parent-child, work relationship, any relationship will benefit from that.
Upbringing of men in modern society discourages them from the age of about 3 years old to stop tuning in to emotions (ie: “don’t cry, don’t be a girl, toughen up”). The good news is that you can open up this channel again at any age.
If you haven’t yet found out what these workshops are about, and you can make a couple of hours on a Saturday morning, it may be something worth doing spontaneously, without asking too many questions, just doing something new and surprising, with an open mind.
If on the other hand, you’ve been to these workshops before, you know what I’m talking about, come along and enjoy the Constellations magic again. It’s FREE to participate as a resonator. So if you’re itching to have a couple hours to dive into the magic, let me know and come along!
